After a time of prayer for what I deemed rather "immediate" needs this morning, I picked up my Bible eager to start where I'd left off yesterday. Instantly the words grabbed my attention as God has been teaching me most recently about functioning in assurance of faith. "And since we positively know He listens to us in whatever we ask, we also know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that we have granted us as our PRESENT possessions the requests made of Him."( 1 John 5:15 AMP) As I sat chewing on these words, wanting them to root themselves in my heart's soil, I sensed God wanting to expound and so I quickly grabbed my pen and notebook and recorded what I heard Him speak. "Because your finite mind is bound by and exceedingly conscious of time, you pray in a manner that suggests that I too am confined in this way. I am NOT. Your answers PREEXIST their manifestation in earthly and human realms. You presently possess your requests!" Marinating in such weighty words, my head instantly began aching. In my created state, I am acutely aware that I lack the intellectual capacity to process all that my Father has said. Truth is, I am far too human to mentally ascend to such lofty concepts. As I marveled at what He had shared, the truth began to saturate my open heart. I AM bound and finite in my thinking. I AM far too exceedingly conscious of this time-realm I exist in. Admittedly, the constraining circumstances of life do sometimes get the better of me and can lead and lure me to approach God in desperation. It IS far too true that the "urgency" I feel to pray is often fueled by pending and looming circumstances and not simply and purely as a responsive act of love. I am saddened by the gripping truth that my own words and phrases would ever, in some unintended way, accuse God of being limited. I am, at the same time, ecstatic that He loves me so emphatically as to take the time to realign me with His truth. He is the unrestricted, uninhibited God Almighty. He is not now, nor has He ever been, limited in power. He is Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent. As God repositions me within this colossal truth of who He is, I honestly still struggle and wrestle to have an "unwavering faith"- the kind that hopes and believes and expects as reality things that are not yet seen but already true. Yet, I believe. I pray daily, aware of my own fleshly limitations, for an ever-increasing capacity to believe, to truly live convinced of and adhering to the promises of God. I desire to live in a way that pleases and thrills Him! "For without faith it is impossible to please God." (Heb. 11:6) In theory, I know that it was God Himself who destroyed the partition that separated He and I and that He longs for me to draw close to Him sure of who He is. I find the invitation to approach the throne of grace boldly and confidently alluring, and yet, there are still days I come timidly and unsure. As my head swims and my awakened heart replies, "help me God", I decidedly trust Him to tend to and bring to fruition these seeds of truth He has so lovingly planted in my heart on an otherwise ordinary Monday...
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