In youth ministry, this provocative headline was an age-old question that we heard ALL the time in regards to...ahem..."relationships." Teenagers always wanted to know where the line was, how close they could get to it without "officially" crossing it. It was a question that was really just a hidden statement, "just tell us how much we can get away with without having to feel guilty later on."
This blog isn't about sex, so for those of you concerned about where I was going, exhale. For those of you who kept reading hoping I might be able to offer some insight on the subject, I will add this... if you're asking this question, you're asking the wrong question. Spend your days asking God to equip and empower you to live an honorable life worthy of your calling, not how you may wink at and toy with the "Blurred Lines" our society offers. Avoid the gray. Flee.
As I said, this isn't about that though. This question, birthed out of my own moment of reflection, is in regards to FORGIVENESS. How far is too far when it comes to forgiving someone? How many times are we as Christians "required" to forgive before it's considered enough? As I posed this question to God, I was reminded of a similar conversation that took place in Scripture.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times." (Matthew 18:21-22)
Peter gets a bum rap for saying and doing some dumb things. But after just essentially asking the same question myself, I can easily identify with Peter. He was learning, just like you and I, how to be like Jesus. I believe he wanted the literal answer, not for an easy-out when he hit the limit, but so he'd know exactly what was required of him.
I get it, trust me, I get it. We want easily defined, cut-and-dry obedience. We want God to give us a check-list so we can proudly cross things off our list and say to God, "see? I did it!" Understand, I'm in no way minimizing obedience. Doing what is required of us is great. That's obedience. However, doing MORE than what is "required" of us is sometimes what is required of us. (Go ahead and reread that sentence a couple of times.)
Sometimes in the "seventy times seven" times, something in our heart realizes we've been keeping a mental tally and we may feel people have used up all their "get out of jail free" cards with us. We can feel we've exhausted our forgiveness, and often justifiably so. Only thing is, Jesus wasn't giving us a number here in his answer, he was giving us, well...an answer and a new way of doing things.
Sometimes forgiveness means going the extra mile.
"You have heard that it was said, 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you." (Mt. 5:38-42)
Forgiveness, as defined by the life of Christ, means laying down your life for others--yes even THEM. Forgiveness means extending grace and mercy when none is deserved or you feel you've got no more to give. Forgiveness means LOVING even the unlovable...not with a plastic, "churchy", fabricated kind of love, but with a love that humbly recognizes that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. It means loving with a love that believes the best of EVERY person...the kind of love that can ONLY come from God Himself, for God is Love.
So for those of you who may also be asking God "How many times must I really forgive?" And that age-old question, "how far is too far?" Know that this is one case where you're going to find the answer urging you to go ahead and cross the line, giving you permission to look like Jesus and to love like Jesus and to go "too far"...just like Jesus.
