Dear Dad...Happy Father's Day wherever you are...

Dear Dad,
With Father's Day approaching, I found my mind instinctively wandering to thoughts of you and decided to write a letter that I know you'll never read, but feel prompted to write anyway. In years past, the annual celebration of fatherhood has come and gone with very little notice by me. Sure, there have been those melancholy moments that this time of year brings of wishing things had been different, but it wasn't, and it isn't, and that is fact.

I have often wondered what life would have been like had you stuck around. In pig-tails and faded floral sundresses, I sat fantasizing about the "real Daddy" who would come rescue me from the nightmare I couldn't seem to wake up from. But you never came and I lived as somebody else's little girl.. and thought all Daddy's were like "him". Little girls need a Daddy who is good and safe and who tells them they are pretty, we need to be some body's princess and we need a hero. I needed a hero, but you never came Dad...

But you should know that I am no longer that sad, scared, lonely little girl. I am a child of God and He is a faithful Father who loves me perfectly. He truly is the best, He is my hero! He never leaves me or forsakes me. He is there whenever I need Him, and I do need Him more and more every day. Because of Him, my jaded, mistrusting, broken heart was tenderly and painstakingly mended. Because of Him I sleep sweetly at night, His perfect love has driven out all fear! Because of Him I know that I have value and I am worthy of a pure and protecting love, that I am wanted, I am treasured,and I am loved. Because of Him,I AM FREE FROM SHAME!!! I know now that I was created on purpose for a purpose- I am not an accident...I am not discarded trash. He thinks I am beautiful, stunning really, and He tells me EVERY day...

And because of Him, I have learned the power of forgiveness. You never came to my rescue. You failed me and it broke my heart, and I forgive you Dad... I really do. Maybe you did the best you knew how to do, maybe you didn't. I forgive you either way. Maybe somewhere along the way you too were hurt or let down or unwanted, maybe you weren't. I forgive you either way. Maybe you knew what I was living through without you, maybe you didn't. I forgive you either way. On behalf of all the left-behind daughters, for all the little girls who have been abandoned,rejected,disappointed,unwanted, abused, unloved.. I forgive you Dad. I choose to let go of the hope of what could have been...Happy Father's Day wherever you are...

"impossible" possibilities...

To be open to God's will is to be open to "impossible" possibilities, for truly NOTHING is impossible for God. He looks to show Himself strong, to captivate us with His extravagant love, to defy all the odds, to take us by surprise,to restore hope,and to resurrect things dead and forgotten. Recently I have sensed the Lord challenging me to allow Him access to an area of my heart long-since closed off. I have felt Him inviting me to believe in the possibilities that He might just have a plan (that I have yet to figure out) that far surpasses my wildest dreams.

It is a difficult thing to come out from behind the walls that have served as protection for so long. But these walls are mere counterfeits. Only He is the Guardian and Keeper of our hearts. Yielding to the plans that He has lovingly authored means responding to His drawing and His inviting us into the place of intimate surrender. He will not pry and He will not force, but He will be patient, for He is Love.

Today I will choose to allow God continued access to my heart, trusting that He knows me infinitely better than I even know myself. Today I will resist my resistance to Him, repeatedly if necessary. Today I will come out from behind walls that are poorly constructed hiding places and grant Him the right to have His way. I sense Him ever-so-present, ready and willing to take my breath away. He is altogether stunning and I stand and will stay amazed...He is truly so much more than words could ever say!!! I will not make Him pry my tender heart open, but I hand it over willingly, open to the "impossible" possibilities that just might be in store...