A little too much "Power Yoga" and I found myself left not quite so bendy. A little ice, a little recouping and I went from sore to in serious pain. I have been no stranger to back pain and have a diagnosis that is less than stellar when it comes to the medical state of my back. I do not deny the reality of this, but I do chose to, however, walk in the healing already attained for me through Christ. So to find myself in severe pain and slightly disabled yet AGAIN left me frustrated and angry...with myself...
As I said, I fully believe in the completed work of the cross and I know that it is by His stripes I am healed. I walk by this faith and have experienced His manifested healing in my own body more times than I can count (many times my back) and have witnessed literally thousands of people at a time receive miraculous healings. God is The Healer and He STILL heals...these things I know. My frustration came in feeling that I keep making myself "unhealed" and seriously wondering if this frustrates my Healer. I know, in retrospect, this sounds ridiculous but the only "dad" I knew always seemed bothered/frustrated by my existence so I can STILL revert to wrongly associating my Father with what I've known. Honestly, I didn't even really realize I had been grasping onto this "stinkin thinkin" until it was revealed to me, not through a correcting/condemning word, but through an affirmation of His love...
I decided I had tolerated enough of the pain that I had "earned" through my zealous working out and asked Him what to do about it. There are many good and practical things one can do for a back injury and believe me throughout the past eight years I have tried many (ironically including the working out to lose extra weight)and so I was prepared for whatever direction He gave. He led me to His Word-"Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up" (James 5:14) As a "mature Christian" my pride and foolishness began arguing with God that I should be able to "get healed" on my own...(I later wondered where it says THAT in the Bible). Now, I'm not saying we can't be healed alone, we can, I have...but if God's Word leads you to an act of obedient faith, especially after asking Him to do so, we (I) ought to learn to pay attention. So I did...
After a meeting at my Pastor's house I humbled myself and asked for prayer. They anointed me with oil, laid hands on me and the first words out of my Pastor's mouth were, "He delights to heal you". Not, "He is frustrated with having to heal you AGAIN"..or, "what a bother you are to be asking AGAIN"...or, "can't you for once keep the healing I already gave you???" As I exhaled and repositioned my body, all pain melted and audible "pops" were heard as He began readjusting my body and my mind. To Him be all the glory!!!
He delights (enjoys and takes pleasure) in healing me. He delights IN US, His children. He delights to heal YOU...TODAY. And as Bill Johnson likes to say, He gives you permission to be healed right... NOW!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
pigtails and His presence...
I had one of the most profound personal encounters with my Jesus this morning and I'm still in that "mesmerized-reflective" state that such an encounter will leave you in. I was attending a conference and we were encouraged to take a few moments, relax, and imagine Jesus walking towards us. I did as told and began to imagine Him approaching me, and He did... in just a few brief seconds, it stopped being simply my imagination and became a supernatural encounter that just blew me away!
I began to experience a vision of Jesus walking towards me, taking my hair down and putting it in pigtails. (Which confirmed a word shared during a night of prayer this week about God seeing us ladies as His little girls- pigtails, pretty dresses and all.) I began to try and tell Him that "He knew I always hated being a little girl..." and all the reasons why, but I couldn't speak. He leaned over, whispering in my ear "Kimmy". Again I tried to speak, angrier than before, and tell Him that I despised that name. And again I could articulate no words. He grabbed my hand and in that instant, EVERY trace of that anger disintegrated...
He began to skip and because He had my hand, I went along. He took me to a flower garden. As He opened the gate, we were sucked in like a vacuum by the irresistible beauty. My senses heightened as I encountered the colors, scents, and even songs of the lush growth. Flowers I'd never seen in any location or book engulfed us. It was truly breath-taking. There was a radiance that pulsed from each blossom and the air was an intoxicating, sweet perfume...
We approached a low bench, with room for only one. He sat and instinctively I sat on His lap, looked up at Him in sheer joy, exhaled, and laid my head on His chest. As soon as I did, I became aware that I had "melted" into Him and He and I were now one. He began to point out the awe-inspiring beauty of our surroundings and laying there with my eyes peacefully shut I agreed. Then, drawing my attention, He looked me in the soul and began to speak words I have "heard" many many times before but this time I received them as truth, and it set me utterly free at a level I can't even begin to describe... "You are exceedingly more radiant (than these flowers). Your fragrance overwhelms My heart, allures, and captivates my attention. The sound of your being, your very presence, fills My ears and brings My heart joy." I was rendered, yet again, speechless...
Then together, we began to observe this one particularly magnificent flower bud begin to slowly blossom as if responding to some divine invitation to do so. We were totally captivated and overjoyed at the simple process as petal after petal began to stretch outward and upwards. "Kim, do the same. I love it. Open up to me. I love your blooming. You are altogether lovely." And I felt my heart responding and releasing its unveiled beauty. And I, His beloved daughter, sat there basking in His affirmation, thankful to be in pigtails and His presence...
I began to experience a vision of Jesus walking towards me, taking my hair down and putting it in pigtails. (Which confirmed a word shared during a night of prayer this week about God seeing us ladies as His little girls- pigtails, pretty dresses and all.) I began to try and tell Him that "He knew I always hated being a little girl..." and all the reasons why, but I couldn't speak. He leaned over, whispering in my ear "Kimmy". Again I tried to speak, angrier than before, and tell Him that I despised that name. And again I could articulate no words. He grabbed my hand and in that instant, EVERY trace of that anger disintegrated...
He began to skip and because He had my hand, I went along. He took me to a flower garden. As He opened the gate, we were sucked in like a vacuum by the irresistible beauty. My senses heightened as I encountered the colors, scents, and even songs of the lush growth. Flowers I'd never seen in any location or book engulfed us. It was truly breath-taking. There was a radiance that pulsed from each blossom and the air was an intoxicating, sweet perfume...
We approached a low bench, with room for only one. He sat and instinctively I sat on His lap, looked up at Him in sheer joy, exhaled, and laid my head on His chest. As soon as I did, I became aware that I had "melted" into Him and He and I were now one. He began to point out the awe-inspiring beauty of our surroundings and laying there with my eyes peacefully shut I agreed. Then, drawing my attention, He looked me in the soul and began to speak words I have "heard" many many times before but this time I received them as truth, and it set me utterly free at a level I can't even begin to describe... "You are exceedingly more radiant (than these flowers). Your fragrance overwhelms My heart, allures, and captivates my attention. The sound of your being, your very presence, fills My ears and brings My heart joy." I was rendered, yet again, speechless...
Then together, we began to observe this one particularly magnificent flower bud begin to slowly blossom as if responding to some divine invitation to do so. We were totally captivated and overjoyed at the simple process as petal after petal began to stretch outward and upwards. "Kim, do the same. I love it. Open up to me. I love your blooming. You are altogether lovely." And I felt my heart responding and releasing its unveiled beauty. And I, His beloved daughter, sat there basking in His affirmation, thankful to be in pigtails and His presence...
Monday, September 26, 2011
Hiding In Plain Sight...
Always one to rouse a crowd, share a thought, laugh out loud, I had always considered myself rather out-going. I never shy away from public humiliation for the sake of a good laugh (being in youth ministry provided many such opportunities) or a chance to perform for an audience. Laughter was the greatest form of applause and affirmation and I have always enjoyed making folks smile. And although, there is certainly nothing wrong with this necessarily, God began to reveal to me the truth was, I was hiding. I had adopted internally the mantra of "make them laugh with you, not at you." So insecure about my value as merely me, I had somehow come to believe that this was the only "me" others would approve of.
For much of the past several months, God has repeatedly reminded me that I was not created to hide who I am and He has been causing me to emerge from within myself. It is both terrifying and exhilarating to introduce yourself to a world full of people who thought they already knew you, it is eye-opening to discover for yourself who you truly are, and it is breath-taking to experience the validating love of God as he affirms that it's good to (finally) "see" you.
I am more than the rowdy character at game night, and although she is a blast, she is only part of who I am. I, like every woman, have many intricate, complex, and stunning layers and they are worthy of sharing. And I am blessed to be part of a community of amazing people where that is not only welcomed, but celebrated! I am excited for what the future holds, and desire to allow the glory of who God is to be radiantly displayed through all I am even if this means I must stop hiding in plain sight...
For much of the past several months, God has repeatedly reminded me that I was not created to hide who I am and He has been causing me to emerge from within myself. It is both terrifying and exhilarating to introduce yourself to a world full of people who thought they already knew you, it is eye-opening to discover for yourself who you truly are, and it is breath-taking to experience the validating love of God as he affirms that it's good to (finally) "see" you.
I am more than the rowdy character at game night, and although she is a blast, she is only part of who I am. I, like every woman, have many intricate, complex, and stunning layers and they are worthy of sharing. And I am blessed to be part of a community of amazing people where that is not only welcomed, but celebrated! I am excited for what the future holds, and desire to allow the glory of who God is to be radiantly displayed through all I am even if this means I must stop hiding in plain sight...
Sunday, August 14, 2011
In the Presence of Greatness...
Tonight I had the opportunity to glean from, and share with, some incredible women who are passionately pursuing the Lord and His call on their lives. I drove away amazed at the glimpse of God I had seen through their transparency, humor, and encouragement. There was no strife, no cattiness, no competition...only support, love, and life-giving. Tonight I was affirmed and challenged by sisters who wish only for me what they wish for themselves- an unleashing of their gifts and talents, and a fulfilling of their call- to the glory of God!
Tonight I sat in the presence of greatness, not due to titles or degrees, positions or popularity, but the greatness that is birthed from humbling yourself before God. Greatness that comes by allowing Him to lovingly unlock, by any means necessary,what was crafted within us at the moment of conception. In a few short hours, in an unassuming coffee shop, I sat in the presence of greatness and my heart is somersaulting with joy and utter gratitude for new friends and a divinely destined moment in time...
Tonight I sat in the presence of greatness, not due to titles or degrees, positions or popularity, but the greatness that is birthed from humbling yourself before God. Greatness that comes by allowing Him to lovingly unlock, by any means necessary,what was crafted within us at the moment of conception. In a few short hours, in an unassuming coffee shop, I sat in the presence of greatness and my heart is somersaulting with joy and utter gratitude for new friends and a divinely destined moment in time...
Friday, June 17, 2011
Dear Dad...Happy Father's Day wherever you are...
Dear Dad,
With Father's Day approaching, I found my mind instinctively wandering to thoughts of you and decided to write a letter that I know you'll never read, but feel prompted to write anyway. In years past, the annual celebration of fatherhood has come and gone with very little notice by me. Sure, there have been those melancholy moments that this time of year brings of wishing things had been different, but it wasn't, and it isn't, and that is fact.
I have often wondered what life would have been like had you stuck around. In pig-tails and faded floral sundresses, I sat fantasizing about the "real Daddy" who would come rescue me from the nightmare I couldn't seem to wake up from. But you never came and I lived as somebody else's little girl.. and thought all Daddy's were like "him". Little girls need a Daddy who is good and safe and who tells them they are pretty, we need to be some body's princess and we need a hero. I needed a hero, but you never came Dad...
But you should know that I am no longer that sad, scared, lonely little girl. I am a child of God and He is a faithful Father who loves me perfectly. He truly is the best, He is my hero! He never leaves me or forsakes me. He is there whenever I need Him, and I do need Him more and more every day. Because of Him, my jaded, mistrusting, broken heart was tenderly and painstakingly mended. Because of Him I sleep sweetly at night, His perfect love has driven out all fear! Because of Him I know that I have value and I am worthy of a pure and protecting love, that I am wanted, I am treasured,and I am loved. Because of Him,I AM FREE FROM SHAME!!! I know now that I was created on purpose for a purpose- I am not an accident...I am not discarded trash. He thinks I am beautiful, stunning really, and He tells me EVERY day...
And because of Him, I have learned the power of forgiveness. You never came to my rescue. You failed me and it broke my heart, and I forgive you Dad... I really do. Maybe you did the best you knew how to do, maybe you didn't. I forgive you either way. Maybe somewhere along the way you too were hurt or let down or unwanted, maybe you weren't. I forgive you either way. Maybe you knew what I was living through without you, maybe you didn't. I forgive you either way. On behalf of all the left-behind daughters, for all the little girls who have been abandoned,rejected,disappointed,unwanted, abused, unloved.. I forgive you Dad. I choose to let go of the hope of what could have been...Happy Father's Day wherever you are...
With Father's Day approaching, I found my mind instinctively wandering to thoughts of you and decided to write a letter that I know you'll never read, but feel prompted to write anyway. In years past, the annual celebration of fatherhood has come and gone with very little notice by me. Sure, there have been those melancholy moments that this time of year brings of wishing things had been different, but it wasn't, and it isn't, and that is fact.
I have often wondered what life would have been like had you stuck around. In pig-tails and faded floral sundresses, I sat fantasizing about the "real Daddy" who would come rescue me from the nightmare I couldn't seem to wake up from. But you never came and I lived as somebody else's little girl.. and thought all Daddy's were like "him". Little girls need a Daddy who is good and safe and who tells them they are pretty, we need to be some body's princess and we need a hero. I needed a hero, but you never came Dad...
But you should know that I am no longer that sad, scared, lonely little girl. I am a child of God and He is a faithful Father who loves me perfectly. He truly is the best, He is my hero! He never leaves me or forsakes me. He is there whenever I need Him, and I do need Him more and more every day. Because of Him, my jaded, mistrusting, broken heart was tenderly and painstakingly mended. Because of Him I sleep sweetly at night, His perfect love has driven out all fear! Because of Him I know that I have value and I am worthy of a pure and protecting love, that I am wanted, I am treasured,and I am loved. Because of Him,I AM FREE FROM SHAME!!! I know now that I was created on purpose for a purpose- I am not an accident...I am not discarded trash. He thinks I am beautiful, stunning really, and He tells me EVERY day...
And because of Him, I have learned the power of forgiveness. You never came to my rescue. You failed me and it broke my heart, and I forgive you Dad... I really do. Maybe you did the best you knew how to do, maybe you didn't. I forgive you either way. Maybe somewhere along the way you too were hurt or let down or unwanted, maybe you weren't. I forgive you either way. Maybe you knew what I was living through without you, maybe you didn't. I forgive you either way. On behalf of all the left-behind daughters, for all the little girls who have been abandoned,rejected,disappointed,unwanted, abused, unloved.. I forgive you Dad. I choose to let go of the hope of what could have been...Happy Father's Day wherever you are...
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
"impossible" possibilities...
To be open to God's will is to be open to "impossible" possibilities, for truly NOTHING is impossible for God. He looks to show Himself strong, to captivate us with His extravagant love, to defy all the odds, to take us by surprise,to restore hope,and to resurrect things dead and forgotten. Recently I have sensed the Lord challenging me to allow Him access to an area of my heart long-since closed off. I have felt Him inviting me to believe in the possibilities that He might just have a plan (that I have yet to figure out) that far surpasses my wildest dreams.
It is a difficult thing to come out from behind the walls that have served as protection for so long. But these walls are mere counterfeits. Only He is the Guardian and Keeper of our hearts. Yielding to the plans that He has lovingly authored means responding to His drawing and His inviting us into the place of intimate surrender. He will not pry and He will not force, but He will be patient, for He is Love.
Today I will choose to allow God continued access to my heart, trusting that He knows me infinitely better than I even know myself. Today I will resist my resistance to Him, repeatedly if necessary. Today I will come out from behind walls that are poorly constructed hiding places and grant Him the right to have His way. I sense Him ever-so-present, ready and willing to take my breath away. He is altogether stunning and I stand and will stay amazed...He is truly so much more than words could ever say!!! I will not make Him pry my tender heart open, but I hand it over willingly, open to the "impossible" possibilities that just might be in store...
It is a difficult thing to come out from behind the walls that have served as protection for so long. But these walls are mere counterfeits. Only He is the Guardian and Keeper of our hearts. Yielding to the plans that He has lovingly authored means responding to His drawing and His inviting us into the place of intimate surrender. He will not pry and He will not force, but He will be patient, for He is Love.
Today I will choose to allow God continued access to my heart, trusting that He knows me infinitely better than I even know myself. Today I will resist my resistance to Him, repeatedly if necessary. Today I will come out from behind walls that are poorly constructed hiding places and grant Him the right to have His way. I sense Him ever-so-present, ready and willing to take my breath away. He is altogether stunning and I stand and will stay amazed...He is truly so much more than words could ever say!!! I will not make Him pry my tender heart open, but I hand it over willingly, open to the "impossible" possibilities that just might be in store...
Friday, April 1, 2011
Prison Break
A recent text to some friends about my weight loss goals got me thinking. I had said to them, "I refuse to live the rest of my life trapped in this body." Got me thinking about how often we live imprisoned behind bars that we have, through Christ, already been released from. It is for freedom He has set us free!!! He has already "tunneled" into our jail cells and now He asks us to simply trust Him enough to follow Him to freedom [cue Prison Break music].
Captivity comes in many various forms, sometimes so subtle it can go undetected for years. Christ came that we might have and enjoy with Him an abundant life of complete liberation, not a life sentenced to death row scraps and solitary confinement. As Christians we get to be free! We get a pardon that releases us from our incarceration. We have a right, through the fully accomplished work of Jesus, to live wildly and utterly liberated from all bondage!!! And all means ALL. The weight of sin,fears,disease, insecurities, shame, depression, bitterness, anxiety, selfishness...ALL. Pride, lust, feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness...ALL. ALL mental, emotional, physical and spiritual strongholds...ALL. Whatever the name is on the door of our own individual prisons, Jesus is the Name Above All Names!
If we are bound and feeling trapped and hindered in any way, let us turn to the One who is our Freedom to destroy ALL yokes of bondage, let us strip off all heavy and ill-fitting shackles and the chains that bind us. "It is for freedom Christ has made us free [and completely liberated us]; stand fast then and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Gal 5:1 AMP) Let's follow Him to freedom today...He knows the way out because He IS the Way out...
Captivity comes in many various forms, sometimes so subtle it can go undetected for years. Christ came that we might have and enjoy with Him an abundant life of complete liberation, not a life sentenced to death row scraps and solitary confinement. As Christians we get to be free! We get a pardon that releases us from our incarceration. We have a right, through the fully accomplished work of Jesus, to live wildly and utterly liberated from all bondage!!! And all means ALL. The weight of sin,fears,disease, insecurities, shame, depression, bitterness, anxiety, selfishness...ALL. Pride, lust, feelings of self-doubt and unworthiness...ALL. ALL mental, emotional, physical and spiritual strongholds...ALL. Whatever the name is on the door of our own individual prisons, Jesus is the Name Above All Names!
If we are bound and feeling trapped and hindered in any way, let us turn to the One who is our Freedom to destroy ALL yokes of bondage, let us strip off all heavy and ill-fitting shackles and the chains that bind us. "It is for freedom Christ has made us free [and completely liberated us]; stand fast then and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Gal 5:1 AMP) Let's follow Him to freedom today...He knows the way out because He IS the Way out...
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I let You...
While making toast (and minding my own business, I might add) The Holy Spirit gave me some insight and truth about myself to swallow along with my breakfast. "You realize that you always ask for endurance before you ask for healing? For many reasons, you expect pain to linger MORE THAN you expect healing to come. You take pride in gritting it out and in your strength in the struggle. You still despise your weakness and I find it the perfect place in which to display My strength-if you let Me." Wow and ouch all at the same time. Only the Word of God has the power to cut you like that and get right to the heart of a matter.
Now, I must backup a bit and say that for the past few days I have been somewhat immobilized by back pain, but I also know that God was addressing far more than my temporary physical pain. I also knew there wasn't a whole lot to say to this except for, "guilty". The truth is, for "many reasons" just like He said, I have somehow come to expect pain to linger more than I expect healing to come. It isn't that I don't ask for and expect healing, I certainly do. And it's not as if I don't want it, because I do. I have, however, mistakenly learned to prepare (first) for the worse. I have violently assaulted my faith and insulted my God with my plans to just endure and tolerate pain. I have become too familiar and jaded with the "reality" of the natural and have allowed it to override the truth of the supernatural.
I am not ignorantly suggesting that life with Christ is all rainbows and roses. Jesus Himself said that in this world we would have many trials, but He also challenged us to be of good cheer, filled with courage and abounding in confidence because He has overcome the world! God doesn't merely possess some healing power, He is supremely Healer. He is MY Healer and He is YOUR Healer to be exact. And the reality of present circumstances in no way negates the truth of who God is.
Pain comes, of course. Endurance is necessary, for sure. Faith doesn't deny the existence of circumstances but believes something better exists beyond what is currently evident. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." Heb 11:1 The Amplified Bible says this; "being the proof of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality." To have faith, as I was reminded this morning, is believing God first. And it is far more than just believing God can, it is believing He wants to and He will.
"God You are right to say I that find a certain pride in toughing my way through things in my own strength. I despise my weakness and instead of inviting You into it, I foolishly struggle to prove to myself and to You that it doesn't exist. Let Your strength be made perfect in all my many areas of weakness. I resist my resistance to You once again. Help me. Heal me. I let You..."
Now, I must backup a bit and say that for the past few days I have been somewhat immobilized by back pain, but I also know that God was addressing far more than my temporary physical pain. I also knew there wasn't a whole lot to say to this except for, "guilty". The truth is, for "many reasons" just like He said, I have somehow come to expect pain to linger more than I expect healing to come. It isn't that I don't ask for and expect healing, I certainly do. And it's not as if I don't want it, because I do. I have, however, mistakenly learned to prepare (first) for the worse. I have violently assaulted my faith and insulted my God with my plans to just endure and tolerate pain. I have become too familiar and jaded with the "reality" of the natural and have allowed it to override the truth of the supernatural.
I am not ignorantly suggesting that life with Christ is all rainbows and roses. Jesus Himself said that in this world we would have many trials, but He also challenged us to be of good cheer, filled with courage and abounding in confidence because He has overcome the world! God doesn't merely possess some healing power, He is supremely Healer. He is MY Healer and He is YOUR Healer to be exact. And the reality of present circumstances in no way negates the truth of who God is.
Pain comes, of course. Endurance is necessary, for sure. Faith doesn't deny the existence of circumstances but believes something better exists beyond what is currently evident. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." Heb 11:1 The Amplified Bible says this; "being the proof of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality." To have faith, as I was reminded this morning, is believing God first. And it is far more than just believing God can, it is believing He wants to and He will.
"God You are right to say I that find a certain pride in toughing my way through things in my own strength. I despise my weakness and instead of inviting You into it, I foolishly struggle to prove to myself and to You that it doesn't exist. Let Your strength be made perfect in all my many areas of weakness. I resist my resistance to You once again. Help me. Heal me. I let You..."
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Wonder Woman...
I've never seen myself as brave and courageous. I can remember watching Lynda Carter play Wonder Woman (yes I'm that old) and thinking she was the epitome of fearless. She was a true heroine. I watched her tackle her adversaries with confidence and capability, and daydreamed of one day being so gutsy. There was no retreat in her, no shrinking back when situations seemed too perilous or uncomfortable. She moved with grace and dignity and she was sure of who she was. She was Wonder Woman and she knew it.
Like I said, I never saw myself as having any bit of boldness or valor. When I encounter something that threatens my comfort and peace, my natural instincts are to cower in the corner or to turn and run away. Fortunately for me, like the super hero I've long admired, I too have secret super powers. The divine power I speak of takes this average, ordinary coward and transforms her daily into a strong, valiant, virtuous and effectual Woman of God-that itself is a miracle, a marvel and a wonder! The power of God infuses me with inner strength, breathes courage into my timid soul, and allows me to stand victoriously face-to-face with my greatest fears. "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, cowardice, cringing, or fawning fear. But He has given us a Spirit of power, love, and a calm and sound mind."(2 Tim 1:7Amp)
Lisa Bevere says, "God loves to make you face what you fear because when you do you become fearless." This is the truth that is now bringing greater levels of freedom in my life. Because of the power and grace of God I have recently faced-off with some of my greatest fears. I have stood eye-to-eye with the painful realities of my past that I had been too afraid and ashamed of to acknowledge. I have brought the ugly, eroding secrets out from their hiding places and have exposed them to His marvelous Light! And I have come to realize that, "what you fear most has no power. It is your fear of it that has the real power. And facing the truth really is what will set you free."
I may not have a fancy outfit displaying and declaring my super-human abilities, a magic lasso, or bullet-proof bracelets, but I am well equipped ... "the Belt of Truth around my waist, the Breastplate of Righteousness in place, feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace, the Shield of Faith, the Helmet of Salvation, and the Sword of the Spirit."(Eph. 6:14-17) And, "I am able to do all things through Christ who gives me strength."(Phil. 4:13) This is not some "nice" Sunday School verse, this is the reality of life in Christ. I will continue to face my foes and my fears because God "always causes us to triumph in Christ!"(2 Cor. 2:14) And I will heed the wise words that Queen Hippolyta spoke to her daughter, "Go in peace, my daughter, and remember that, in a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman..."
Like I said, I never saw myself as having any bit of boldness or valor. When I encounter something that threatens my comfort and peace, my natural instincts are to cower in the corner or to turn and run away. Fortunately for me, like the super hero I've long admired, I too have secret super powers. The divine power I speak of takes this average, ordinary coward and transforms her daily into a strong, valiant, virtuous and effectual Woman of God-that itself is a miracle, a marvel and a wonder! The power of God infuses me with inner strength, breathes courage into my timid soul, and allows me to stand victoriously face-to-face with my greatest fears. "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, cowardice, cringing, or fawning fear. But He has given us a Spirit of power, love, and a calm and sound mind."(2 Tim 1:7Amp)
Lisa Bevere says, "God loves to make you face what you fear because when you do you become fearless." This is the truth that is now bringing greater levels of freedom in my life. Because of the power and grace of God I have recently faced-off with some of my greatest fears. I have stood eye-to-eye with the painful realities of my past that I had been too afraid and ashamed of to acknowledge. I have brought the ugly, eroding secrets out from their hiding places and have exposed them to His marvelous Light! And I have come to realize that, "what you fear most has no power. It is your fear of it that has the real power. And facing the truth really is what will set you free."
I may not have a fancy outfit displaying and declaring my super-human abilities, a magic lasso, or bullet-proof bracelets, but I am well equipped ... "the Belt of Truth around my waist, the Breastplate of Righteousness in place, feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace, the Shield of Faith, the Helmet of Salvation, and the Sword of the Spirit."(Eph. 6:14-17) And, "I am able to do all things through Christ who gives me strength."(Phil. 4:13) This is not some "nice" Sunday School verse, this is the reality of life in Christ. I will continue to face my foes and my fears because God "always causes us to triumph in Christ!"(2 Cor. 2:14) And I will heed the wise words that Queen Hippolyta spoke to her daughter, "Go in peace, my daughter, and remember that, in a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman..."
Saturday, February 5, 2011
He cares...
Waking up to a barrage of anxious thoughts is no way to start a Saturday, or any day for that matter. Reluctantly, I got up, stumbled through my apartment assessing the chores I should do, assembled my mental "to-do" list, and...yup, hopped back in bed. As I labored in vain effort to go back to sleep, the seemingly multiple millions of thoughts were now synchronize-swimming in my head and forcing me back out of bed. As I sat up, these words filled my heart, "do not let cares get the best of you today." Responsively, I turned to the familiar words of Scripture that have long anchored my soul and once again today they were fresh, vibrant, and life-giving manna. "Look at the birds, free and unfettered...CARELESS in the care of God. And you count far more to Him than birds." (Mt. 6:26 Msg) "Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and He cares for you watchfully."(1 Pet. 5:7 Amp)
Cares will, no doubt, get the best of us when we forfeit to them what is best in us (our peace, faith, joy and life.) To be free and unfettered is to be loosed and unchained from the things that weigh us down. In our humanity we gravitate towards a mental approach to worries which is futile and frustrating and causing us so much stress we make ourselves sick. God alone is our Problem Solver. His name is Burden-Bearer. He is our CareTAKER. It is our choice to let God take care of us and it is also our choice to let God take cares from us- so when He instructs us to cast our cares, we ought to cast them. When He says release and let them go, we need to challenge our resistant gripping.
To be unshackled from care is a crucial element to a healthy walk with God. It is our responsibility to live unhindered by the circumstances of life. But even more than mere choice and responsibility, such freedom is our privilege and inheritance as children of God! What a joy floods my soul when the truth of this truth resonates in my heart. We get to be free! Stop for a moment and chew on this truth. We get to be free! We get to hurl our daily trash bags of garbage at His feet, willingly, cheerfully and repeatedly. This is good news. This is what it means to be free and unfettered! It isn't that being free from cares is the complete absence of issues, but it's acknowledging the total and sufficient presence of God. "For where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty, emancipation from bondage, and freedom."(2 Cor. 3:17 Amp) Today, I will fling ALL of my cares on Him because He told me too, because He is abundantly able and never too busy for me, and because He cares...affectionately and watchfully, He cares...
Cares will, no doubt, get the best of us when we forfeit to them what is best in us (our peace, faith, joy and life.) To be free and unfettered is to be loosed and unchained from the things that weigh us down. In our humanity we gravitate towards a mental approach to worries which is futile and frustrating and causing us so much stress we make ourselves sick. God alone is our Problem Solver. His name is Burden-Bearer. He is our CareTAKER. It is our choice to let God take care of us and it is also our choice to let God take cares from us- so when He instructs us to cast our cares, we ought to cast them. When He says release and let them go, we need to challenge our resistant gripping.
To be unshackled from care is a crucial element to a healthy walk with God. It is our responsibility to live unhindered by the circumstances of life. But even more than mere choice and responsibility, such freedom is our privilege and inheritance as children of God! What a joy floods my soul when the truth of this truth resonates in my heart. We get to be free! Stop for a moment and chew on this truth. We get to be free! We get to hurl our daily trash bags of garbage at His feet, willingly, cheerfully and repeatedly. This is good news. This is what it means to be free and unfettered! It isn't that being free from cares is the complete absence of issues, but it's acknowledging the total and sufficient presence of God. "For where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty, emancipation from bondage, and freedom."(2 Cor. 3:17 Amp) Today, I will fling ALL of my cares on Him because He told me too, because He is abundantly able and never too busy for me, and because He cares...affectionately and watchfully, He cares...
Monday, January 17, 2011
beautifully needy...
A study of the word necessity strips the word to mean that which is required, indispensable, crucial, and utterly essential for well-being and/or existence. After a conversation with a friend today, I was left thinking about what it means to need God, not just want Him, but to truly need Him, to require Him. For one who can be detrimentally too strong, independent, capable, and self-reliant for her own good, is He truly indispensable, crucial and utterly essential for my well-being and existence? It doesn't take a degree in Theology to answer this seemingly simplistic question. I am, after all, acutely aware that I certainly am not the One holding my own cells together, so of course He IS my necessity...and yet. For someone who decided early on to trust in and rely on herself only, there are still days when I am grievously guilty of struggling to survive in the power and sufficiency of my own flesh.
Facing some circumstances even today, I was tempted to handle things my own way which was to "sweep them under the rug", bury my head beneath the covers and cry. Now admittedly, this is not the most effective plan of attack but at the time it was quite alluring. Too often, leaning on my own understanding and in my own strength leads me to merely cope with life by NOT coping with it. This, I realize, is idiotic and prideful. It is also, if we're honest, a survival tactic that can only temporarily ease the discomforts of life. Trouble with these types of strategies is that they are born of Self. Self, in all its valiant and sincere attempts and intentions, is never and can never be enough. Self despises submission to anyone and anything else. Self is a subtle and stealth Saboteur who creates resistance and opposition to the Spirit and His moving in our lives. Self is never what our "selves" need. Self promises to safeguard and shield us from tragedy and hardship and that which disturbs, but Self deceives. We must, if we are to live submitted, obedient, responsive, Spirit-filled lives, identify the foolishness and danger in the tendency to trust in Self. We must comprehend to our core how thoroughly destructive it can be. At the end of the day we are powerless and incapable in and of ourselves.
The words of Jesus in John 15:5, "apart from Me you can do nothing", leave no wiggle room. No matter what resource used, the word "nothing" means nothing. Apart from Him, no matter how I might strive to, I can not order or control my world or the world. God moves and speaks and holds my existence in His loving and capable hands, I don't have to. I am wired to respond. My requirement is to require Him; to HUMBLY realize and declare my total and utter necessity of Him, to be all-together insufficient and desperately dependant of His sufficiency, for In HIM (not Kim) I live and move and have my being." (Acts 17:28)
Admittedly, sometimes it does feel good to stay in bed sobbing, and numbing reality with ice cream is tempting, but we can never find our help and our healing hiding from our Helper and Healer. At the end of the day, it is only when I embrace things with my eyes and heart wide-open, even things that are painful and terrifying, that I am available to be confronted with the truth that can and will set me free. The truth is I am lost without Him. I am desperately lost without ALL HE IS LOVING ALL I AM! I am assuredly nothing apart from Him. He IS my Necessity and I am needy. Truthfully, I am broken, fragile, vulnerable and beautifully needy...
Facing some circumstances even today, I was tempted to handle things my own way which was to "sweep them under the rug", bury my head beneath the covers and cry. Now admittedly, this is not the most effective plan of attack but at the time it was quite alluring. Too often, leaning on my own understanding and in my own strength leads me to merely cope with life by NOT coping with it. This, I realize, is idiotic and prideful. It is also, if we're honest, a survival tactic that can only temporarily ease the discomforts of life. Trouble with these types of strategies is that they are born of Self. Self, in all its valiant and sincere attempts and intentions, is never and can never be enough. Self despises submission to anyone and anything else. Self is a subtle and stealth Saboteur who creates resistance and opposition to the Spirit and His moving in our lives. Self is never what our "selves" need. Self promises to safeguard and shield us from tragedy and hardship and that which disturbs, but Self deceives. We must, if we are to live submitted, obedient, responsive, Spirit-filled lives, identify the foolishness and danger in the tendency to trust in Self. We must comprehend to our core how thoroughly destructive it can be. At the end of the day we are powerless and incapable in and of ourselves.
The words of Jesus in John 15:5, "apart from Me you can do nothing", leave no wiggle room. No matter what resource used, the word "nothing" means nothing. Apart from Him, no matter how I might strive to, I can not order or control my world or the world. God moves and speaks and holds my existence in His loving and capable hands, I don't have to. I am wired to respond. My requirement is to require Him; to HUMBLY realize and declare my total and utter necessity of Him, to be all-together insufficient and desperately dependant of His sufficiency, for In HIM (not Kim) I live and move and have my being." (Acts 17:28)
Admittedly, sometimes it does feel good to stay in bed sobbing, and numbing reality with ice cream is tempting, but we can never find our help and our healing hiding from our Helper and Healer. At the end of the day, it is only when I embrace things with my eyes and heart wide-open, even things that are painful and terrifying, that I am available to be confronted with the truth that can and will set me free. The truth is I am lost without Him. I am desperately lost without ALL HE IS LOVING ALL I AM! I am assuredly nothing apart from Him. He IS my Necessity and I am needy. Truthfully, I am broken, fragile, vulnerable and beautifully needy...
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