by faith...

During a conversation just moments ago, I heard spill from my spirit and out of my mouth "I don't wanna wake a day that doesn't require great faith to make it through". As I scribbled it down and began to contemplate what I had really just said, I was struck by how sure and how forthright it had come out. This season of my life and recent circumstances combined have thrust me into living in an entirely new dimension of faith, a new "level". And to the surprise of a girl who has always favored comfort, security, and stability to adventure, risk and the unknown, I have found that THIS is truly life and life abundant. This is what I desire to rise to each new day. Now I'm not saying I crave trials or situational uncertainties, but what I've come to realize is that I desperately want and need to live and move and breathe in a way each day that is totally and abandonedly reliant on God. Having faced more than a few moments, even today, that seemed insurmountable has forced this sometimes shifty soul to make the decision to trust God. Period. End of subject. No questions asked (and that's very hard for someone who wants to know everything in advanced in order that all "risks" might be calculated ones...) By God's divine hand He has allowed me to be in a time and season that REQUIRES that I require Him. My heart's plea is that this doesn't change. I have come to a place where relying on self is not only a foolish option, it's a non-option... and it's wonderful! If I, as a Christ-follower, am not living in a way that reliance on God is not crucial, I have to ask myself am I really following Christ? If I'm not desperately and achingly holding onto Him to be my everything, to save the day, to give me breath, am I truly living in and operating in any level of faith this day? To live by faith requires something of us, it has a cost. It means I do not lean on me, or "them", this or that...it means no crutches and as my friend put it "no contingency plans". It is an all chips in, both feet out of the boat thrill-ride that leaves you breathless and expectant, and grateful for His never-failing faithfulness. And it is my heart's sincere prayer. Not a day, God. Not one day. "For the righteous man shall live by faith..." Hab.2:4