In the aftermath...

The dictionary defines aftermath as, "the resulting consequences of an event of great magnitude." It's one of those words reserved for moments of disaster and devastation, when lives are left in ruin and it's clear that things will never again be the same.

I, like far-too-many, was born in aftermath. I was raised in aftermath. I am a survivor of aftermath

And it was in aftermath that Jesus found me, buried beneath a lifetime of ruble.

One forgets the smell of fresh air when they've inhaled soot and shame their entire journey.

People always say, " and I've never looked back" and I get it. It's crucial that we live pressing onward and living free from our pasts. If I'm being brutally honest, however, I do look back from time to time. I see the smoldering ruins and wonder what life would have been, who this child of aftermath would have become.

It's the gripping reality of the magnitude of His rescue that ever-stirs me to love Him more. It haunts me in the most glorious of ways.

"In that moment of glorious surrender,
Was the moment You broke the chains in me.
Lifted out of the ashes
I am found in the aftermath." (Hillsong United- "Aftermath")