consider the lilies...

"Therefore, I tell you to stop being perpetually uneasy about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on...Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add a single moment to the span of your life? And why should you be anxious about clothes? Consider the lilies of the field and learn thoroughly how they grow; they never toil nor spin...but if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is tossed into the furnace, will He not much more surely clothe you. O you of little faith?" (Matt. 6:25-30). For as far back as I can remember, I have admired the stately and elegant Calla Lily Flower. I don't remember the first time I laid eyes on one, but I do know that when I did it trumped all other flowers for me. Something about the grand sturdy stem and the single shapely bloom spoke to me of strength and dignity, beauty and delicacy. It is, and I assume will remain, my very favorite flower. In recent days God has brought my attention to the previous verses and despite having read them many times before I had never really given much thought to the lily part. You know those moments when it seems as if God takes a neon-yellow Sharpie to the printed pages of your Bible and you sit up and take notice, it was like that. "Consider the lilies"...I found myself staring at the faux Calla Lily bloom that stands tall in an slender glass vase beside my bed. "To consider" means to think thoroughly through the process of something. I began to imagine the seedling this grand flower once was, not being a botanist myself, I did my best to envision the underground sprouting process and the moment it finally pushes the earth out of its way to see the light of day. I imagine it drinking in the early morning dew and savoring the life-giving rays of sun until it attains splendid maturity. "Consider the lilies"....they don't toil or spin, they don't labor or make schedules, they don't stress and attempt to manage their pending futures, "Yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his magnificence, excellence, dignity, and grace was not arrayed like one of these." (Mt.6:29) From seed to stunning flower, Jesus Himself was reminding us that if the Father cares enough to tend to what grows in a field, how much more will He take care of that which was created by His hands and born of His heart? Worry has no power to add a single moment of time to our life span, on the contrary, the all-consuming anxious thoughts eat away and erode the peace that He has intended to guard our hearts and minds. I do not take this lesson lightly and neither do I share it flippantly. From one who is, in the natural sense, currently without a sure income, I am challenged to my core to NOT be one "of little faith". I have been given the divine opportunity to take Him at His word and to trust Him with every intricate fiber of my being. And really isn't that what we're all called to do? If He is our Sufficiency, if He is our Provider, if He is I AM, then our stability and security must only be drawn from Him. Our steady employment, our savings accounts, our possessions and family, these can all be great but they can not be what we're putting our stock in. Circumstances change and will. God, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is our Constant, our Security, our Stability and our Safety. He is our Rock and it takes faith to allow Him to be so. In trusting Him, we must lean in ALL things and at ALL times- in the times of circumstantial steadiness and, yes, in times of shifting sand. "Therefore do not worry and be anxious...but seek first of all His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given unto you. So don't worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble." (Mt.6:34) Grace, like manna, is given to be gathered for THIS day. We're not promised a tomorrow to even be fretting over, we're given a today and asked to have faith in it. Consider the lilies...

...so I will be with you

Recently I was encouraged to read Joshua 1 and have done several times now. This morning as I reread this portion of Scripture needing to remind myself to be strong and very courageous, I remained stuck on some of the first few words in God's address to Joshua. I realize now how much I was overlooking and not hearing in these verses because I'd previously skimmed over that part. God says to Joshua, "As I was with Moses, so will I be with you." I'd read it before and surely had thought that was great but I don't think I quite got exactly what God was saying here. Just like with Moses-in the same ways He was made known in the life of Moses, God was promising He would be with Joshua and subsequently us as well. The words, "as I was" seemed to be magnifying themselves this time and I began to ponder all the many ways God had been with Moses- even from infant hood. I realized quickly that My Teacher was trying to illuminate my deeper understanding of these words. I spent the next couple hours pouring over just the first few chapters of Exodus. What I discovered was more than enough to stir my faith and bring another level of divine peace to my soul. I began by being reminded of how God shielded baby Moses from a declaration of death and placed him in a palace where he was raised by royalty. Years later, after covering up a murderous mistake, he fled from home. It was in Midian where he simply sat at a well to rest that a seemingly insignificant act shaped his future destiny. While at the well he simply helped some women water their flock, which led to him being provided for in Jethro's house. Basic provision, housing and eventually a wife were found even while attempting to run away. And it was his employment as a simple shepherd for Jethro's flocks that led him to the backside of the wilderness. All moments of his life, all paths he'd taken, all choices he'd made, brought him by the divine hand of God to this precise place in his destiny. It's not everyday one encounters a bush that's burning, but not. I don't presume to know if Moses had been looking that day to encounter God or not, Scripture offers no insight. What I do recognize in this portion of Exodus is that Moses recognized this phenomenon for what it was- a divine encounter with I AM. Scripture tells us he turned and heard God's voice speak. He took off his sandals as instructed and walked on holy ground. He was chosen and given a clear mandate to go and bring the Israelites out of captivity. He was given a promise from God that He'd be with him and was granted open dialogue with the Creator of the universe. He was given God's word, His name, His promises, authority, and a clear and very precise play by play on what would occur when Moses went to Pharaoh. To top it all off, Moses was told he'd be given respect, favor,and prosperity; that he'd not leave empty-handed but would strip the Egyptians of their belongings! As I put my Bible and notepad down, I was literally overwhelmed by the amount of material in just a few short "chapters" of one life. Then just as quickly as I'd set my things down, I began pondering my very own life and how in just as few chapters of my own story there too is so much to acknowledge. What an incredible story He's written in my life-how faithful, how loving, how providing...and the story isn't over yet! Yes, we can find great strength in recalling how you "were with Moses", but I find the greatest flood of gratitude and expectation in knowing that You've made such a hope-filled oath in also saying to us, to me, "so I WILL BE with you..."

puzzle pieces...

must write...must write...sitting here waiting for the pieces of my soon-to-be-new life to come together. Like sitting directly next to someone doing an enormous jigsaw puzzle and not being able to help. I know it's God's puzzle to do, not mine. I know He doesn't want or need my help as pieces are carefully laid in perfect place. I know He already sees the picture in its entirety. Why is it then that I find I must sit on my hands in order to refrain from interfering? Why is it such a painful struggle to keep myself from reaching across His strong trustworthy arms, grabbing the tiny pieces, and jammimg them into place myself? What fears and anxieties are screaming inaudibly from within? Do I believe Him when He says He has a plan? Do I trust He knows what He's doing? Do I trust Him? If I'm not willing to face these questions, I am not willing to face truth and as I know it is the truth and only the truth that truly sets us free. God, You are the great Puzzle-Put-Togetherer, teach me, remind me, and help me to trust You and to simply enjoy watching You work. Teach me to be still, to let go, to stop interfering, to stop hampering and hindering and to know and recognize and understand fully that You are God and I am not...

My hands, His hands...

To quote a song, "It's well past midnight and I'm awake with questions that won't wait for daylight..." This seems to be the time of day when my thoughts, or my God, or a blaring combination of the two, keep me awake to ponder in the dark stillness of the early (way too early) morning. Sitting quietly, I'm reflecting quite soberly on a portion of a word that God gave me in a time of ministry yesterday. "I see you bursting forth, a water spout at full pressure. Until now there's been a hand on the spout only allowing minimal flow, controlling and hindering the water pressure." The minister went on to loose this hand, confirming that God wanted the unhindered ability to flow out from me as a river of living water. What God wasn't showing them (and what I later shared) was the truth He was simultaneously revealing to me. I did, in fact, know exactly whose hand was and has most often been on that spout-mine! The common saying is "we are our own worst enemy" and in many cases I'd have to agree. Of course I'd like to blame-shift as much as the next guy but, truth-be-told, my own self-sabotage has cost me just as much, if not more, as anything the devil has himself done to me. Now I understand, he gets his wormy, wily self in our business and influences us. To simply pin it on him, however, to simply say "the devil made me do it", is to often give him more credit than he's due and a cop out of my own personal responsibility. No doubt , my self-sabotage has for the most part been unintentional, but to a certain degree it's also been a vicious and prideful attempt to control my own life. It is with these painful thoughts that I wrestle on this early (again, far too early) morning. Having dedicated my entire life to genuinely and consistently living surrendered to God's will and purposes, this reality of my own hand hindering and holding me back brings me to my literal knees. Be it fear of the unknown, a lack of trust, vile self-will, insecurity, or a stifling "stew" of these paralyzing ingredients, the truth is I have gotten in my own way. More so, I have gotten in God's way. The additional truth here is, this is not how I want to or will live out the rest of my days. Because of it's nature, there is always a level of trepidation that comes with the unknown, but I will loosen my grip because God has given to me power, love, and a sound mind. I will pry my fingers off my life's "water spout" because I know...I KNOW...I can trust Him. As for self-will and insecurity, I see now these are evil twins rooted in the prideful mind game that believes my opinion somehow outweighs His truth. I will humble myself before my God where I'll allow myself to receive the grace He eagerly gives. As I do, I see the picture changes. It is His hands I can see now on the spout- strong, capable, familiar hands that move with steady purpose. This is how it is meant to be. I find myself easing into a calm and still peace. I know full well that His hands are up to something and I am overjoyed they are....

the wind and waves still know...

At a prayer service last night a song played I'd not heard before. I strained to catch the lyrics as it was playing softly in background and caught just this line, something I've been meditating on since... "Be still my soul, the wind and waves still know His voice" In Matthew 8, we read the account of Jesus and His disciples on a boat when, "suddenly a violent storm arose" (Mt.8:24) The disciples in panic and fear wake Jesus who'd been sleeping soundly despite the tumultuous circumstances. His response then, are the same words He speaks today to our fearful hearts. "Why are you so timid and afraid, O you of little faith? Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great and wonderful calm (a perfect peaceableness). "The wind and waves still know His voice." Over two-thousand years ago The Prince of Peace spoke into raging waters telling them to cease their frantic stirrings-and they did! Just like that! The very same God who spoke the deep waters into existence, stood in a heaving boat, looked over the side, and ordered those same waters into utter tranquility. And they still know and recognize His voice- the circumstances that threaten to capsize us as we travel with and for The Lord are still under His command. He is still the Great Storm- Silencer. He is I AM. In the moments of sheer terror or nausea we experience in life- waves coming up over the side of the boat, dark and threatening skies looming above, may we be reminded as I was, that His voice is still enough to hush even the harshest of situations and bring a great and wonderful calm, yes, a perfect peaceableness. "When the oceans rage and thunders roll, I will soar with You above the storm. Father You are King over the flood. I WILL be still and know You are God!" (Hillsong)

no matter what

Sitting at the computer this morning, while the sun had yet to come up, I wondered why it'd been so long since my last entry and why, more importantly, was I up at 4a.m.!??? But in that moment of introspection I found myself overwhelmed with a deep sense of thankfulness for even being awake...for being alive, and for really living this life and not just allowing it to pass drearily by. And In the wake of a week best described as heavy ...emotionally, physically, and spiritually, I still find the surfacing feeling that encompasses my heart to be real, authentic gratitude. On my "worst of days" I take solace in knowing and understanding that each and every circumstance that has been allowed by God in my life has purpose. I am comforted to know that I face nothing alone. And I am encouraged to know that in my moments of ever-waning human strength, His grace is far more than sufficient and that is reason enough to rejoice in another day, no matter what it brings!

promised land...

Following a message from my Pastor last night on the fear of the Lord, I had one of those life-shifting moments as I sat before the Lord. As simply and clearly as He could, He spoke to my heart;"I refuse to allow you to walk into your Promised Land carrying souvenirs and mementos from your days in captivity." There comes a time in life that you recognize, "This is it...this is the season I've been waiting for, this is what God has been preparing me my whole life for...this is my promised land" At the very same time, in readying us to lay hold of our destinies and our predestined purposes, God, it would seem, begins a relentless pruning and purging process. The plans He has for us require an ever-increasing stripping of the flesh. The divine must not be tainted with the residue of the demonic, and although that phrase may be seemingly harsh, it is reality. Satan, who loathes our very existence would love nothing more than to see us enslaved Israelites wandering aimlessly with the Promise Land just beyond our grasp. God, however, delights to loose the bonds of wickedness, to empty our hands of soul-enslaving trinkets and baubles and release us with joy into the very freedom He has set us free for. The relentless hand of God can certainly feel just that, relentless, but to be sought out by God is to be pursued by the Lover of Your Soul who has prepared a Promised Land of liberty and life for us; a destiny for our lives far beyond our wildest dreams....